Future self

Dear future self

I have no idea where I will be in 5 years from now. Do you perhaps know?

What I really do want is to look back at this post knowing I never gave up on believing , dreaming, striving and becoming better in everything I do. As I am laying here in bed on a Sunday afternoon ,taking our usual Sunday afternoon nap, there are so many things going through my mind. 

I am reminded of my growing up years. It is as if I am digging into memories I cant remember so good anymore. My aim however is to put the puzzle together. From where I have started until now. How life really become what we make of it.

How every dream we have fall into place once we start to chase it down. The effort we make to accomplish it regardless of all the obstacles and hardships. I am so grateful for all the naysayers , all the impossibilities,  all the negative circumstances I had to endure. It made me more determined to try again. 

I tried so many things to get a work . The multiple job applications I completed . The interviews that I missed because of transport. The jobs that I thought I would get but never did. 

I thank my Heavenly Father for a bright future I can look forward too. I am really not longing to have more things because what I have now is so much mpre precious. I have a beautiful family. A wonderful husband, a handsome son and a bright little girl. What more can I ask for? 

To my future self I want to say" Well done"! You went after what you wanted. There were times you thought it is impossible. But you did it. That dream, that desire that has been placed in your heart , you got it now!!

I mean there were a time in my life when I thought I would not get married. I said no its not possible because our family does not do weddings.  But God made it possible. What are you telling your future self?

Im excited of what the future holds for me. I am not allowing my past to hold me back anymore.  I am tired of comparing myself with others and I am focusing on my journey from now on. Yes , i am unique and I a have assignment to complete on my own. It is set out for me and me alone and no one else can walk it out for me. 

Its time to look at that future self and start to like him or her!!. Life is so precious and to be able to breathe at this very moment is a miracle. Many people did not see the day because of sickness, hunger , fear for the future and gave up on life. Dont let the pandemic put fear in your heart. This too shall pass. 

Start to focus on your magnificent future self. In 5years be the person you said you want to become. Celebrate small victories along the way and never stop learning and becoming better an better in what you do.

Maybe you feek stuck in what you are doing right now buy what about what you can do about it. Why dont you change the way you look at it. There must be a reason why you are doing what you are doing. Dig deeper in yourself for what you were called to do. 

Find the real you and excel in it!!. The joy of the Lord is our strenght so know that life outside God is not going to be so fruitful at all. We think we can depend on our own strength but it all is beacsue of God. He is in control of our lives and He allows things in our lives to work out for the good. 

Hello future self !! I love you, I celebrate you, you are awesome, you are a star, you are unique and I like your effort to impact. 

Have a beautiful next 5 years of your life. I salute you!!!

CWR

Life without Christ

Have you ever thought you are ok just by hearing about God? 

Yes you know about God but you never experienced him personally.

Well that was me almost 4 years ago. I thought I was fine because I read my bible. I prayed at times. I also knew there are certain things right in Gods eyes and certain things that are sins. 

Well I did not worry to much when I went out partying because I always came back the next week and repent. It went all like this all the time. 

I kept journals of these repentance conversations.  I thought I was good. You know you are doing things that you are not suppose to do. There are always that voice inside of you that tells you to stop, go this way or that way. 

I thought I could live a double life. Be someone at home with my parents and family and totally a diffrent person when I am with colleagues and friends. When I look back at the past I can really see now where I went wrong and where I tried to make God happy in my own strenght.

I tried a life without Christ. I had no personal relationship with him because I thought that I first have to finish with certain sins. I thought I am not ready yet to become a boring person that does not drink or that goes to clubs. I wanted to be part of the group and enjoy life. 

How blind can one be. I mean God does not want perfection  because no one is. Only Him God is perfect. My life looked great from the outside. Money was good. I could support my parents and my son . Everything was hunky dory but there was something missing. I had bad relationships with friends I called boyfriends that time. Every relationship just did not worked out.

I realise now I was looking for something only God could fill. Past failures are there to build us to become better then we were. It is a lesson and not a life sentence. We dont have to stay in the situations that we dont like, that does not fulfill us. 

I learned that the One who made me should be placed first  in my life. God knew me better than anyone and all I was looking for is found in Him. 

He is a father, friend, lover, companion and I just had to surrender to Him. God broke me graciously so I could be made whole again. He filled me up with His love, His kindness and His mercy.  If it had not been for God who took me back into His family I would not have been able to write this right now. 

I am so thankful to God that I could get the chance to fix my relationship with Him . To walk with Him and know that there are no sins between us that can keep me from talking to Him.

Yes I am not perfect and I do still sin but now I am not condemn anymore but convicted. The Holy Spirit let me do things that are acceptable to God. We should come as we are to God and not wait for when we think we are perfect.  God wants the glory for making you whole again.

Life without Christ is a  waste of your precious time. Things dont work out because you have the wrong priorities.  You have idols and do not worship God with your mind, heart, all your strenght and your soul. 

Give everything to God and let Him start to fix you and mould you and shape you. Its a beautiful journey. Fix your eyes on Jesus everytime you want to be reminded of your past. 

Its a wonderful journey with God. Yes it is not easy but surely worth it. I am no longer  a slave but I am a child of God. 

I have victory !!Im redeemed and I am free!!. 

Thank You Jesus Christ the son of God our Father. Thank for the Holy Spirit who lives within me and comfort me in everything I do. 

CWR