Not difficult not easy

It's easy to make as if things are fine. Whereas you are dying inside. It's like you can't breathe at times. You feel like you are suffocating and wish to just break down and cry. These days are so difficult to handle still you make as if it is easy. Somehow you still get up in the morning with the encouraged Word of God as the source that keeps you going. But you know it is difficult. You tell God all your heartaches and challenges and some how you get new strenght but some days it's is more difficult than easy. You can't sleep, you want to cry but there is no tears that come. You so long for your loved one that are thousand miles away. You never thought this will be so difficult being apart as you never experienced it so long apart. God please give me the strenght to hold on to my faith. You are all I have and all I will ever need. I will get the help coz I realised I will drown if not getting it soon. Lord help me! 

Loved

Not defeated!!!

I have no idea of how I will be able to keep standing in the difficult circumstances, how I will go to bed without a tear leaving my eyes during my conversations with my Father. Oh how I know He is hearing me and know He is seeing my heart's desires. How I wonder at night how to tackle the next day. Should I do this or should I do that in order to make it happen myself. In the midst of the tossing and turning God still hears me, sees me and knows what's best for me. Knowing He is with me every step of the a way. So as I am waiting on His word, His guidance I pray to be patient and feel, see and experience His glory in everything. So Lord let me just see your Glory in everything. I don't have all the answers but I know You do. So I want to remain calm, at peace and pray whilst I wait on you. You know what's best and thank you for never leaving my side. I am not defeated!!! 

Your daughter.